HEAVEN

Nothing says AWWWWW like a HOT tub inside when it's COLD oustide! Temp of the hottub... 101 degrees..... temp outside 12 below zero! BRRRRRR

T'S BEACH

Beach closed due to weather.

NOTE TO CO-WORKER!

Note  I left co-worker before I went to lunch...... she used my station while I was in the Nail house. The note reads: 

Mel's Bill...... you owe me!

Rent space        5.00

Water useage   6.00

Towels x2         4.00

( 2.00 per towel)

Shampoo          2.00

Conditoner       4.00

Comb                2.00

(from yesterday)

Total: 23.00

Pay with cash ONLY!

or send Frank over.
 Note I received upon returning to work!

Does Frank know about this? Nope, Mel just said she had a show she wanted to watch at that time and was a good way to get him out of the house. Just another great fun day at the shop...... Man I love the girls I work with!

MY COFFEE BUDDY!

This is my new little coffee buddy... such a happy guy and makes my day brighter! Thanks Ripley!!

PEG LEG

Please don't act surprised to hear that the mastiff Cidney has been to see the vet again. What might you ask happened this time? She broke her toe. How might you ask did this happen? Have no idea. She did eat crap off the deck and I was sure that she blew her neck out and treated her for that. A round of antbiotics and pain meds later, day 2 her foot was still swolen so to the vet we went. I was suspicious her foot might be broke at this point now. X-ray one told the tale. Lateral break in her toe. Critters are lucky cuz humans suffer with broken toes. Critters get to wear a cast all the way up to their elbow for 2 weeks till it heals. Into day 2 of the cast she broke the thing in half and had to go get another one. So now it's back to packing her 88 pound butt up and down the stairs. I giggle cuz the sound of her thumping around the house is not mistakable. Skyler's friend D started calling her peg leg. I told him to bad it wasn't close to Halloween, put a patch over her eye and she could be a pirate!  

SKYLER'S NEW PURCHASE

Road trip!!!  Skyler is now the proud owner of a 1938 Plymouth Coupe that he purchased last week and he and his Dad and bud Little D went to get over the weekend. His Dad can't believe that he is switching from Imports to Old School. It's a car in the making but in really good condition. Only one spot of rust by the back drivers door. He first said he was gonna make it a rat rod, but now he is looking at going with the gasser style like his Dad's 51 Henry J. I haven't seen him all day cuz he has been in the garage. This is sure a change from the kid who sleep till noon. 

SMURF DOG

Tonight Cidney was trying to help Ken while he was spraying weeds in the backyard. I'm in the house and get a call from him, (cell phone to cell phone) in a very stern voice "Come get YOUR dogs." So I head out back, he's pissed and tells me that the dogs are blue from the dye you add to the weed mix. I'm laughing my butt off cause she looks like a smurf, and Ken isn't happy about it at all. Nubby comes to me immediately while Cidney is wagging her tail still wandering the backyard. She looks hilarious walking around with blue feet. Nubby doesn't have much on her, just the pads of her feet are stained, so I start with cleaning her up. Cidney finally wanders to the front to see what's up. With alot of luck I was able to get Cidney cleaned up with dish soap and water. She has a few blue spots on her, her toe nails and pads of her feet are still stained but that just adds character. Moral to the story? Dogs aren't suppose to be helping spray weeds. 

MIDNIGHT AUTO POSEY AND LOHRENZ STYLE

Skyler, Lindsay, and Kyle posing at Shot Gun Willys.
Doing the Wyoming gang sign.... 307

Well the story goes something like this. Thursday night Mr. mechanic (Skyler) was upset and in a hurry when he decided to tear into the distributor of his Acura and kinda ruined what was left.  This made him even more upset because he wanted to drive it the next day to the funeral in honor of his friend Neil. So Ken starts to try and fix it and Skyler is on the phone with Kyle Lohrenz to see if he many have a spare or know anyone whom may. Kyle has a buddy in Billings that runs Honda's so he gives him a call and he said, "Come on up and you can use it, bring tools, I don't have any at the house." Well as upset as Skyler was and it was 8:30 pm I wasn't about to let him go alone. Kyle was up for a road trip, so we picked him and Lindsay up. Kyle grabs his tool and everyone loads up on Redbull (sugar free of course) and we are off to Billings. I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time. Non stop stories. When we drove past Shot Gun Willys, Kyle told us stories about his day in the joint. I mentioned it would be funny to try and get Skyler in.... hahah  So we arrive at John's house around 10:30, grabbed the part swapped some stories and headed homeward bound.  I told Kyle that I could make up a good story for Facebook about him getting  Skyler in Shot Gun Willys. Upload a mobile photo! So of course we stopped for a photo shoot. Here is the pix I put on Facebook and the stories goes something like this:

A big THANKS goes out to Kyle and Lindsay Lohrenz. What were we all up to lastnight? Midnight auto in Billings to get a part for Skyler's car then a stop by..... Shot gun Willys..... Kyle wanted to show us his pole dancing skills and wave dollar bills to see boobies. Funny thing... Skyler got in with Kyle's ID.... go figure... they look so much alike. By the way.... damn can Kyle pole dance!

It got alot of comments from people. Well worth the memories. Thanks guys! O... and how'd I do at work the next day on 3 hours sleep? NO COMMENT!

R.I.P. NEIL

TO YOUNG TO BE SAYING GOODBYE

Today we are morning the loss of one of Skyler's High School buds. Neil was the victim of a auto wreck yesterday morning. To young to be leaving this earth, but an awaking to his friends about choices in life matter. Deepest sympathy to his family. You will be in our hearts forever Neil!

TOUCH

The weather has been depressing all damp and dreary for the last 2 weeks. It's affecting the folks I see every day. Me, the mold spores are making my brains feel smothered, (I can't think straight) my hair is a frizzy mess, (can't do a damn thing with it), my nose is running, my back aches, and I'm a tad depressed myself. I so need a huge dose of vitamin d (SUNSHINE). Well it's affecting the critters at my house as well. Cidney the mastiff at 1:30 this morning was having a needy moment. I woke to her moaning and groaning by my side of the bed. God forbid if she were to go to Ken's side, hell he wouldn't hear her anyway. I roll out thinking she needs outside. OOO-NO..... she wants touched. This is a daily routine with her. You have to be touching her and if you stop... well she will paw and annoy  you tell you touch her. So I sit by her on the floor for a few minutes, then end up laying on the floor with her tell I thought she was asleep so I could sneak back into bed. The minute I moved she woke up and flung her leg on me as if to say, "Where the hell you going? Don't stop touching me I need U." So I layed back beside her and fell asleep myself. I woke up an hour later and couldn't move so I climbed back into bed (silently) and made sure my leg hung off the bed to still be touching her. So this morning I'm all stiff and exhausted and Ken wakes up refreshed and ready to take on the world. I'll be making sure that won't happen next time and put the dog into bed with us. I'll get the sleep and Ken can have the backache. So this morning I go to give Cid some lovin and she disses me. Little turd. It's all about her time.

BOYS AND THEIR TOYS

What's a 18 yr. old to do? Got money and I want to spend it. First he wanted  a truck and 4 wheeler, then a motor bike, o and an Evo. So I settled on letting him spend his money on a gas powered remote control truck, to the tune of $600.00. WOW was the hubby pissed about this. My response? "Drugs or toy? I'll settle on toy!" So here's the boy playing with the toy......

SHOP STORIES

So today a co-worker mentioned doughnuts sound good today and another one said a burger, so we all QUICKLY agreed on doughnuts beings it was only 9 am. Come to think of it,  the doughnut fairy hadn't been around since..... last Friday.  There are a couple of us that are the "doughnut fairies", I being one and Don. Today's doughnut fairy was Charlene. I put my order in and told her, "get lots of filled ones." After the arrival I hurried to pick mine out. Filled long john with nuts on top. This is fitting as I have a nut of a client later today. I seriously was thinking of having a few shots of anything with alcohol before the appointment. Wait, the wine guy is coming at 5 so I'll just wait till then. I'm thinking it will take more than a dixie cup tonight. That's all we have to drink wine out of at the shop. Back to the doughnut story. So we all eat our doughnuts and share with all our clients. Well 4 pm rolls around and co-hort Mel is caught eating yet her second doughnut of the day. She goes down to mix some color and returns laughing. She felt something in her bra and went to investigate. Low and behold, it was some of her doughnut. As the whole shop roars in laughter cause this is such a Mel story...Molly tells her "You just thought your boobs were getting bigger!" NOT! 

SOME GAVE ALL

MEMORIAL DAY

What does Memorial Day stand for? A day off? The start of summer? Parades and picnics? You can finally start wearing white shoes again? Although most Americans don't know much about the purpose or history of this day. Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on May 5th 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic and was first observed on May 30th 1868. Flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May, though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas; April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 19 in South Carolina; and June 3 in Louisiana and Tennessee. Now that I've filled you in on some facts about Memorial Day....... God Bless all our fallen heros!

THE CONE MYSTERY

This stuff only happens at my house I'm damn sure of it. Yesterday around noon I called Ken about a question and he asked me WHY the dog was wearing the cone on her head. WHAT?! Ken leaves the house first in the morning followed by Skyler and then myself, and I didn't put it on her. HUH it's a mystery. I told him to go upstairs by the bed and see if the glass of water was still on his side of the night stand. He told me it was empty, but I knew all to well that it wasn't when I made the bed that morning. Mystery solved! Sure as crap.... the tubby nubby was in the cubby hole behind our bed. For what reason? The dog only knows. What's so funny is she stuck her head in the cone, was able to get out of the cubby hole, (this had to be funny as hell) and that she was stuck in it all morning. Damn dog! So Ken heads to bed later that evening and says, "The floors a little wet right here. Wait it's really wet over here." See the glass was full of water I told him. The sad thing is..... I can't quit laughing about it! Well at least she didn't eat dinner again.

This is the space between the night stand and the bed. Not alot of room for her to get out or in for that matter.

SENIOR PICTURES

It's so hard to believe that Skyler will be graduating High School on May 24th. Where did the time go? He was just being brought home the other day. I love my son  and am so proud of the man he is turning out to be. I told his dad that I really don't think he will ever move out of the house tho. I may have to go find him a place to live. He won't leave because he wants dinner and his laundry done. When he does leave I will have to fumigate his room and remodel it. He is kinda pissed tho cuz we just added on to the house. The new room is 600 square feet that will be a fun room. Hot tub, big screen TV on the wall, and bar for entertaining. He told me, "sure add on when I'm about to leave." I told him, "Ya now we can afford it!"  I LOVE YOU SKYLER!

SINGLE STEM ROSE

What is the meaning of girls showing up at the bars around midnight with a bucket of long stem roses in every color? Well my theory is this..... It's all the left over roses about to die (like die tomorrow) that the flower shops are wanting to get rid of. They come to the bar and sell them to guys whom have spotted the girl they are taking a liking to. They purchase one and and give it to the lady with a smile. I was explaining my theory to some friends the other night, and low and behold at the table beside us there was this girl talking to the group, alone. Around 1 am she comes back over with her coat on to tell the group bye holding a ? You guessed it... a rose. A gentleman following behind her giving the guy at the table the wink as they walk out. I told our group of friends.... See the pattern. That guys gonna get lucky. Aint it funny how that works?!

LIZARD ON A ROCK

The weather has been in the 70's the last few days and what do I think about this?

Well I've become a lizard on a rock just soaking in all the warmth.  AWWWWW

HAPPY EASTER

Happy Easter! Hope the bunny was good to you. He was to Skyler. He showed up at my folks house too. Well funny story about the bunny and easter baskets. My brother's girlfriend Kris made him a basket and put it way way in the back of the closet to hide it for one and thinking the dogs would never go in there. Ha... Misty my brother's dog happen to find it in the middle of the night. She woke him up because he heard her licking non-stop. He nudged Kris and said something to her. She mumbled something then shot right out of bed to find Misty had eat all of the chocolate in the basket. Tin foil and all. She apparently really likes peanut butter cups. There was a summer sausage in there that she didn't touch. She must of had a sweet tooth. Man does this all sound familiar?  They even told us about how the carpet was all wet from all the gross thick drool. Is this funny? Yep I have a boxer that eats everything she can get her paws on. Well Kris was worried about the tin foil in her system, but I told her not to be. My boxer ate a whole loaf of banana bread once... tin foil and all, and she's still alive. 

A DAY IN MY LIFE

So what's been going on in my world lately? Well yesterday started out great till I was getting ready to walk out the door for work. Cidney the mastiff walked around the couch and.... great she blew her neck out again and was not walking on her right front leg and her neck was all twisted. So I find the neck brace and get it on and head to the cabinet for pain meds, then off to work. I started a side job, so it's been crazy working my regular job and this side gig too. Got a busy day at the beauty shop that morning and an appointment at 10:30 for my new side job. I get home for lunch and Cidney is panting, drooling, and pacing the house, so down goes more pain meds, shut all the window blinds, and turn up the TV so she doesn't hear or see anything to keep her calm. I head back to work for a busy afternoon and a closing call on the side gig to make $100.00 then home to make dinner and care for the dog. I again get to sleep on the couch so she doesn't try to go up the stairs and Ken and Cierra sleep on the bed..... ain't that nice?! Well off to the vet this morning with Cidney cuz she already had an appointment for the butt thing and Dr. K checked her neck out as well. So a shot of steroids in the butt, more pain meds and lots of cookies later we get to leave. Today's bill? $123.85..... that's cheap for me so I'll take it and run. So I'm guessing that the $100.00 I made yesterday will cover the $123.85 I spent today..... Man I just can't get ahead!

OUCH!!!

What's new with the kid these days? Well accident prone stepped on a nail lastnight that penetrated an inch to an inch and a half in the heel of his foot.  Thank goodness he was wearing a shoe cuz you can see right where it entered the sole. His heel is swollen and you can see the puncture mark. So Mr. Limp-a-long got to go for a visit to the Urgent Care Clinic this morning. After the pleasure of a tetanus shot and a perscription for antibiotics, he is to soak it in epsom salts 3 times a day. It's funny to see him limp around and complain that it hurts... I reply, "What hurts? The foot or your arm?" Hee Hee

NITRO CIRCUS ON WHEELS

These guys are insane....... Way cool tho!!!!! Look for me... I'm the one on the dirt bike doing the "Superman!" haha I wish......

JUST ANOTHER VET BILL

Well surprise that my dogs are at the vet again. I have been wondering why in the world Cidney the mastiff likes to walk by the bushes in the front yard and rub her butt in them. Well Ken notices she has a issue with her butt on Saturday and calls me over to inspect it. O ya an anal gland is infected bad. So an emergency vet visit, (of course it's after noon and that's when they close). Dr. K saves the day and sends us home with antibiotics.  Now it's Cierra's turn. She has been sneezing a bit which is not like her at all. Sunday rolls around and the poor thing is having sneezing fits that lead to back sneezing, her eyes are running and boggery, her nose is running and she won't stop licking. That right there drives me nuts. I start putting benadryl down her but she was still in misery. I wasn't sure if she was gonna make it through the night last night, and I got only a few winks of sleep between her sneezing attacks. Ken sleep very well if you were concerned about him. Dr. Dave got the honor of seeing Cierra this morning. "O" he said. "She has tonsilitis and horrible allergies." She gets a cortisone shot, antibiotics and cookies. So I guess it's Skyler's turn to get sick then..... God I hope not. But if he does... I'm taking him to the vet too!!!!

FACT OR CRAP

Fact or Crap?   You can put 33 bb's in the human belly button?

Well the answer to this is.... FACT!  I got a friend who has done this....

GOOD TIMES.... GOOD TIMES!

Well as the saying goes.... "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!"    Well.... "What happened in Red  Lodge stays in Red Lodge!!!"

SKINNY BITCH

This no-nonsense, tough love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous is soooooo funny. I totally recommend it. So if you can't take one more day of self-loathing, you're ready to hear the truth. You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight. Don't acted surprised! Smoking is for losers and so 1989 and totally uncool. Beer is for frat boys not skinny bitches. It makes you fat, bloated, and farty. Soda is liquid satan. It is the devil. Now don't go patting yourself on the back if you drink diet soda either. It's even worse. Sugar is the devil too. If you don't exorcise this demon from your diet, you will never be a skinny bitch. Coffee is for pussies and makes your breath smell like ASS. Whenever you see the words "fat-free" or "low-fat" think of the words "chemical shit storm." Are  you a pill popper and reach for over the counter medicine for every sniffle, ache, and pain? Toughen up. The Atkins diet. Hmm. Eat the flesh of dead cows, dead pigs, and dead chickens. Avoid fresh fruit. You are a total moron if you think the Atkins diet will make you thin. You are what you eat. Every time you put crap in your body, you are crap. It is a complete myth that we need a massive amount of protein. Have you ever, ever, ever, in your entire life heard of anyone suffering from a protein deficiency?  Have no faith: Government agencies don't give a shit about your health. So don't be a pussy and start eating the healthy foods you should be. These are just a few blurps that these self-taught know-it-all, former models talk about. So run down to the local book store and get a copy. They will have you in stitches....... 

STUD MUFFIN

What a stud muffin right? HAHA... I was laughing at the side comb over cuz I think he may have been 5 the last time he wore his hair that way. Wait or I combed his hair that way. I wouldn't know if he even combs his hair now cuz he's always wearing a hat.  I'm actually very surprised he let me take these pixs cuz this is the boy whom hides in between both shower curtains in fear that Ken or I will pass by and see his butt! I've reminded him that I've seen him naked most of his life and wiped his bum. Trust me dear... paybacks are HELL! His day will come to be wiping my butt! 

THE BABY BIKE

Since we haven't been able to find powerwheels and mimic the last two videos I've posted we had to pull out the ""baby bike." 

This was not as easy as it looks. Balancing is very hard on this baby! Check out the rims....sweet!
Trying to ride double with Little D.
Skyler....Bee...beep!
Working on some tricks.
Look Mom... no hands! WHOO
Trying to look all GQ....
And the final move....wheely!

JUST FOR MIKE!

This is just for Mike. The f*** word is for Meg! Thinking this would be fun too!!!!

POWER WHEELS RACING GREATEST HITS

My son and his friends want to do this! Actually I think it would be a blast!!!

PRICELESS

This is JJ and these are gifts for him to promote "safe sex" cuz he's still a teenager and he don't be needing no babies.  Ya see, a group of us, (his father, mother-in-law, sister, etc) went out for dinner the other night and I got a brain storm. "Hey, don't throw away your wrapper that the silverware comes in, I have an idea." So I informed everyone that the wrappers would make a great gag gift... condoms. I have rubber bands at home that I'll put inside of them. Now Joy said, "What about wet wipes in these packets here?" OOOO yes. So we loaded up on them. The plan now was to give these great goodies to him at the Bowling Alley on Saturday night during league. As I was looking for the rubber bands, Ken says, "Do you still have any rubber bands from Skyler's braces?" I looked and DAMN I don't. Threw them all away. They would have been perfect beings they are the size of your little finger. We arrive at the bowling alley and I motion Joy over and into the back. We put a wet wipe and rubber band in each wrapper. I get the honor of presenting them to him, which I can clearly handle. As I walk out to the main room I look over at his friend and mouth the words, watch this. "Hey JJ?" He turns around and I hold the wrappers up and tell him, "It's best to always have rain gear buddy. There is enough for a week, (9 in all) and if you need anymore I can always get you some." The look on his face was priceless and the whole bowling alley was in complete stitches, I think I might have seen someone about fall off their chair from laughing so hard. Well someone has to promote safe sex being our school board doesn't think it should be taught in the public school anymore. So here's the price breakdown.  Wrappers.....FREE

                                   Wet Wipes...FREE

                                      Rubber bands.....FREE

                                       The look on JJ's face......PRICELESS

               

BON QUI QUI

I'm just glad that this has never happened to me.

DINNER DATES

Am I frickin crazy? OMG, so lastnight I took Skyler, Donny, Kyle and Eric over for dinner in Powell at the Chinese restaurant beings Ken is out of town. Mind you, two are 18 and two are 17 yrs. old.... and boys!  Of course they wanted to go in the pimpin ride... my Escalade. Before the night was over it was being called the short bus! We jammed to 20 on 20, The Heat, Pop2k, and was jumping channels to find Taylor Swifts song Love Story. Donny and Eric sang at the top of their lungs and knew every word. Believe me when I say that Taylor sings it much better. So we get to the restaurant and the boys are being... well boys. They seat us at the table and after we all go get our food I notice that the ladies beside are well....... very religious. The kind that wear only long dresses and keep their hair long. You can spot these type in a crowd. I remind the boys to be respectful and watch their language. The language never changed, they just talked softer. I'm sure everyone was glad to see us leave and I sure got the looks when we arrived and I was with 4 teenage boys whom were all hanging on me. NICE! If I recall correctly that term is called a "cougar." I being the wonderful, fun, easy going mom payed the tab, then decide lets go to Dairy Queen, Donny's buying. Ok so to Walmart for "molli coolz." Then back to the house where I learned all their secrets. Drinking and other topics. Did you know that if you put butter in the funnel on a beer bong it won't foam? WOW! They had a pole shimmy contest and then we called it a night. Of course I picked them all up and they need to get a ride home, so "THE KID" steals the Escalade key and they are out the door in a flash.  As Kyle put it, "They were pimpin dirty."

After crusing a few mains, so the chicka's might notice, Sky pulls in and tells me. "I want an Escalade, DAMN." Save your pennies baby, save your pennies! Oh if his father only knew. Needless to say, it's ruff having so many sons by another mother.

VICTORIA'S SECRET

Yes... Victoria has a secret. It's called the push-up bra. Do I own one? HELL yes, or two but who's counting. My sister and I decided to go try on bra's one day in Victoria's Secret. The latest and greatest bra was the push it up.... push it in. So we grab the size we think we need by what the sales girl told us. "You need one cup size smaller", we were informed. Well I'm a whoppin "A" and my sister is a "D". Yes she was blessed with all the boobs and I was left with nothing. I'm the after thought. So we go to the same dressing room to try these great creations on. We get them on and look in the mirror and we both start laughing our butts off. Crying is more like it. Why? Well I didn't have enough boobs to fill the damn bra out, and my sister asked me, "Are you suppose to be falling out the front and sides?" "I'm thinking not", I told her. The poor sales girl keep asking us if everything was OK. Ya we told her, but neither one of us fit in the bra. So needless to say we didn't purchase the bra's, and left the store still laughing.

SHE'S DONE IT AGAIN

The food addict was at it again. What may she have done this time. Gee?! Guess? She had a little bit of Skyler's 18th birthday cake. A little meaning... half the cake. Half white cake and half chocolate. That's suppose to kill dogs right. Not this turd. This isn't the first chocolate cake she has eating, and she is still alive. Ya see, I hid it in the oven and had to take it out to cook potatoes for the super bowl party and placed it on the back of the stove. Well miss "can't miss a meal" got it from off the stove and had her own party while we were away. Skyler was blessed to find it first and clean it up. I still found cake evidence on the cabinets, counter, and tile floor when I got home. Funny thing was she was bloated and was up most of the night moaning. I however was not impressed when I got home this evening and went upstairs and found two piles of dog doo! She can't poo on the wood floor which would be easy to clean, Oh no she prefers the plush carpet. Please someone tell me again why the hell I have her?! O ya.... It's Ken's fault. He wanted her to begin with! And for the record....he picked her out too!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTA

Today is this fine ladies birthday. How will it be celebrated? We all went for dinner lastnight and tonight we will par-take in the festivities at the local bowling alley with her. Why there? She's on a bowling league. I'll have a few cocktails and probably buy her a bottle of the cheap ass wine that she so loves. She's just not fond of the wine headache that it offers the next morning, but she'll drink it. I however will not be drinking the cheap stuff. I have my standards. TJ swan was the choice back in my day......EWWW        Happy Birthday girl!

PEARLS AND HIGH HEELS

This subject came up at work today. When was the last time you cleaned house with not a hair out of place, make-up on, in a dress with an apron, pearl necklace, and high heels? Well June Cleaver did. She was the ideal wife. So the 60's show protrayed. Well welcome to the 21st century. I prefer my comfy clothes, thank you! Hair pulled back, no make-up, sweats and ole t-shirt. Maybe slippers in the winter time. I plan on burning some calories while cleaning, there for no need to look all made up when I plan on sweating.  Now as you can see, I'm far from the ideal wife than. Hell I can't even walk in high heels as it is. Would break my damn neck. So now that you have a visual of what the perfect wife should look like, I got to thinkin......I bet she couldn't pole dance! 

RAP STAR

Gotta love a cowboy who can sing rap!

PRESENCE

Well you read about the toilet paper holder, so you know what a funny child I have. Skyler likes to have his presence made. Today....... he wrote his name on the frozen screen door so I would see it as I left for work. Shit head!!! He could have wrote "I LOVE YOU MOM!"

ADULTHOOD

Today is my baby's 18th birthday. Hard to believe that I was tickling him and tossing him around in the air just the other day, now he does this to me! His favorite things to do to me are, pick me up and hold me upside down, flip me around in the air, bear hug me tell I can't breath, grab my hands and play "mercy", but the ultimate fav of his is to come around the back of me and stick his stinky arm pit in my face. EWWW!!!! Boy's his age have nasty smelling hormones. The term in our house is...."what's that FUNK I smell?" (speaking of his room which we will have to fumigate when he leaves) It's really frightening to think that he has to sign up for the draft now, he can vote, and that in 4 months he will graduate high school and move out on his own. My baby's growing up and as sad as it is, he will never be far.... he'll still want dinner and his laundry done!  I LOVE YOU SKYLER!!!!!